Definition from Wikipedia:
Assertiveness (from the Latin "to assert" meaning "to assert") or assertion (or even self-affirmation), is a characteristic of human behavior that consists in the ability to express one’s emotions and opinions in a clear and effective way without however offending or attacking the interlocutor.
Assertiveness is not only a simple way of communicating but, above all, a mode (point of view and behaviour).
Assertive behavior is typical of the person who respects his own rights and those of others, does not allow others to be aggressive, does not suffer them, does not require others to modify their opinions, does not judge others, decides for themselves and assumes no responsibility that do not compete with them, has self-esteem and the other ("I am ok, you are ok), knows how to express his opinions and emotions in a functional way, achieves his goals, knows what he wants and pursues without trampling on others.
The general objective of an assertive relationship style is to create positive and clear interpersonal relationships; means having contacts based on mutual trust and cooperation and at the same time to be able to deal with the problematic situations with serenity and effectiveness.
The general objective is to meet the needs and respect the moods and rights of both parties.
The assertive person participates in the relationship with a constructive and responsible attitude taking into account oneself and the other, freely expressing your thoughts and emotions without particular anxiety or fear, without judgment and prejudice, uses a clear and direct mode of communication.
People are never always aggressive, passive or assertive. The relationship style shall be assessed by reference to: the specific situation, the psycho-physiological state of the person at that particular time, the socio-cultural environment of reference.
The communicative mode may be:
- Passive:
Passive behavior is typical of the person who suffers others, is unable to express their opinions or feelings, struggles to make decisions, believes the others best of themselves ("I am not ok, you are ok"), fears and depends on the judgment of others, is unable to refuse requests, tends to submit to the will of others. The general objective is to avoid a possible conflict and/or please the interlocutor by condescending to his explicit or even implicit requests. - aggressive:
Aggressive behaviour is typical of the person who takes account exclusively of himself and his own gratification, tramples on the rights of others, believes he is always in the right, attributes to others the responsibility for his own mistakes, devalues the other ("I am ok, you are not ok"), is rigid, inflexible with respect to his positions, or rather, does not distinguish opinions from objective reality and will tend to give only his own absolute and just. The general objective is "to win it at all costs!". - assertion:
("I'm okay, you're okay)
Being assertive has no connection to being manipulative. Persuasion in order to steer the choices of the other in a different way by obtaining consent, contrary to what it calls a well-known search engine, is not assertiveness but manipulation, in our opinion.
- Link 1 Deepening (Active listening)
- Link 2 Deepening (Technical)
Some videos about Assertiveness
What is assertiveness? Learning to stand up to one’s mind
Emotion: exercises to learn to be more assertive
The affirmative communication: effective communication strategies
